How Soon Is Now?
by TicTacStory
Summary: A simple and dramatic songfic on Matt s lifestory.


_**A/N Jeez I love this song, way depressing and everything but still, particulary the T.A.T.U cover, I was blasting this around the house and my mom went all "SHUT THE HELL UP" lol. Anyhow, Another songfic of le me. Death Note, Of course.**_

_**Song-The Smiths-How Soon Is Now ?AND T.A.T.U How soon is now?**_

_**Main Characters- Matt **_

_**Secondary Characters-Mello**_

_**Important Note-H**__**ave A song you want me to turn in a songfic? be my guest, PM me or something, it can of any of the following anime:Death note,black butler,winx club,Ouran HSHC,Vampire Knight,School Days,Clannad,Angel Beats!,Jun Jou Romantica,Gakuen Heaven,Bakuman,loveless and Hellsing.**_

_**I am the son**_

_**and the heir**_

_**of a shyness that is criminally vulgar**_

_Chessnut red hair, beyond that hair, a mind, a memory, no, memorIES memories that would drive any normal person crazy, but Matt wasnt normal, but he wasnt very sane either._

_**I am the son and heir**_

_**of nothing in particular**_

_Dark brown eyes, eyes that witnessed death, eyes that saw everything, sometimes Matt himself wondered if his eyes didnt belong to someone else, someone who was playing with him, contradicting eyes, eyes that saw his very own sister`s corpse slowly rotting on the floor, wrists cut off, her naked chest, her innocent face, a eye crushed under the man`s feet, a bloody pool she was swimming in, her soul put to rest, no, it wasnt put to rest, Matt failed on his little sister, as a 13 year old boy, seeing his 6 year old sister`s corpse beneath the feet of a man he didnt know...Eyes that cried._

_**You shut your mouth**_

_**how can you say**_

_**I go about things the wrong way**_

_His mouth, his once virgin lips, his lips roughly kissing any girl he could lay his hands on, his twisted mind, his deadly eyes, his abused lips. Who cared anyway? Matt was just a badass gamer and smoker, a guy who got his own sister killed, and Matt... in a attempt to save his own mother, with Mello`s gun called "Lady Midnight" the blonde witnessed it all, he witnessed everything, the death of Matt`s sister, the death of Matt`s mother, Matt`s mother who got killed by his own "Lady Midnight" and , witnessed Matt`s own death_

_**I am human and I need to be loved**_

_**just like everybody else does.**_

_Was that all Matt was? a pathetic boy who imensly failed in protecting the women of his family? a family that didnt even care about him? a family that got killed by his father? was that Matt? his hands picking up the gun, his hands...killing, Matt had thought alot about what would`ve happened if he didnt meet Mello, maybe his sister would still be alive, screw that, maybe his whole family would still be alive, may be Matt would`ve been alive, maybe he would`ve gotten a normal job a fine girlfriend and maybe evena family of his own. Wrong. Matt only ever wanted love, and Mello gave him that feeling, the feeling of being loved, the feeling of being wanted, real, fake, who cared? it was all just one step of difference anyway._

_**I am the son**_

_**and the heir**_

_**of a shyness that is criminally vulgar**_

_Ironic really, the same person who killed his sister, the same person who he tried to very same wicked man, the father of he who actually cared about him, how the hell were they related at all? Mello and He Who Killed His Sister, also known as his steph-father, and Mello`s full father, his name...what was it? Mihael that was it._

_**I am the son and the heir**_

_**of nothing in particular**_

_**You shut your mouth**_

_**how can you say**_

_**I go about things the wrong way**_

_Isnt he just failing on his sister and mother AGAIN? wasnt once enough? did Matt really have to toture them again by fighting side by side with Mello, who shared the same name of the deluded crack-head of a steph-father Matt had? screw that, same name,same blood,same looks, contradiction, the hate he felt towards that weak excuse of man, the love he felt towards his son._

_**I am human and I need to be loved**_

_**just like everybody else does**_

_His reckless thougths, he unintrested appearence, however, appereance that atracted moer than one girls in his life, women that betrayed him, women that hurt him, women...soonly, his enemy?_

_**There's a club if you'd like to go**_

_**you could meet somebody who really loves you**_

_**so you go, and you stand on your own**_

_Getting hit and kicked by his alcoholic mother, getting pushed around and abused by Mello`s father, those hits he picked up when he helped his sister, he not only got his punishment, but his sister`s aswell, because thats just how Matt is, he would do anything for those he loved, unfortunatly, no one loved him back, always standing on his own, waiting for someone to acompan him on the way to hell, kick some ass, play a videogame and finally some heavy release of frustration, and the blonde ought to do just that._

_**and you leave on your own**_

_**and you go home, and you cry**_

_**and you want to die**_

_Always looking around for that person, always loosing, soonly he lost himself in games, games where he could control what happened, a easy battle with no personal feelings himself in his cigarettes, releasing stress, because, no matter what would happen, he will never cry, for how many times had he caught himself thinking that he would be better of dead? but he couldnt do that to Mello, either he loved him or not, Mello would loose that was is still left of his mind if Matt would give up like then again, wasnt he just putting his family trough a pain that they didnt deserve? all the abuse and the throwing him in the garage aside?_

_**When you say it's gonna happen "now"**_

_**well, when exactly do you mean?**_

_**see I've already waited too long**_

_Matt had waited long enough, and he found it, Mello, Mihael Keehl, contradicting or not, either he liked swallowing Mello`s saliva or not,whether all those kicks to save his sister were worth it, it doesnt matter, Matt is Matt, the badass, the gamer, the lonely soul._

_**and all my hope is gone**_

_**You shut your mouth**_

_**how can you say**_

_**I go about things the wrong way**_

_**I am human and I need to be loved**_

_**just like everybody else does.**_

_**A/N Well wasnt that dramatic.**_

_**It was pretty much a a little to Matt`s past, atleast, his past how I see it.**_

_**I guess you could also call it a preview to my other story on Matt called "He Who Pulled The Trigger" its not uploaded yet,though.**_

_**Anywho thanks for reading and please review :·3**_


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